Photo: VH1/WORLD OF WONDER
Hey, bear in mind the ’90s? You know, 20-odd years in the past when life was just a bit easier? Or not less than all of us suppose it was now as a result of that’s the curse of nostalgia? RuPaul definitely does. That’s when she bought her massive break and when (*5*). Perhaps that’s why this week’s theme for RuPaul’s Secret Celebrity Drag Race is “I Love the ’90s.” Or maybe it’s simply because each week has to have a theme and this appeared like a very good one. Whatever.
As luck would have it, Ru’s secret movie star drag queens additionally love the ’90s, and never simply because a few of them had been at their most well-known then. (Some others had been simply shopping for their first CDs across the flip of the century, a incontrovertible fact that makes me really feel as previous as mud.) Each queen this week is tasked with selecting a ’90s banger and — you guessed it — performing a choreographed lip sync to that quantity. Honestly, I feel I’m beginning to hate lip syncs, and it’s due to this present. I’ve seen so many aggressively wonderful, completely polished ones. I miss the messy ones, the enjoyable ones, the bizarre ones. Will somebody please give me Manila Luzon’s “MacArthur Park”? What about Brooke Lynn Hytes and Yvie Oddly’s “Sorry Not Sorry”? Or actually any of Silky Nutmeg Ganache’s assassin-worthy cuts? I miss pondering lip syncs are charming representations of the particular drag performers reasonably than simply indications that actors and singers are good at taking route.
I’ll admit there’s a teensy little bit of character in a few of these lip syncs, however actually I’m simply bored. Great drag queens turn out to be nice drag queens as a result of they’re charismatic and spontaneous they usually simply have that one thing. These performers are nice at their given professions, however does that imply they’re good at drag? There’s actually just one queen on this present that I feel would possibly even take into account doing it after the actual fact — Donna Bellissima, for these questioning — despite the fact that I feel some extra of their careers might possibly profit from a couple of enjoyable membership dates.
Anyway, I digress. Let’s trudge forward with Secret Celebrity Drag Race, as a result of if we don’t begin, we gained’t get to the top, when shit truly occurs.
First up this week we’ve bought Poppy Love, who has a love for the Spice Girls, a gaggle he says is “the biggest girl group of the ’90s.” Life was loopy for Poppy within the ’90s, with women all over the place and fixed threats of being adopted, however as a substitute of one way or the other incorporating that into his efficiency, he’s determined to deal with being all 5 Spice Girls in a single efficiency. I is perhaps saying this as a result of I’d have cherished a dragged-up Backstreet efficiency, however Poppy’s “Wannabe” was meh. While the reveals had been a enjoyable thought, the Mel B costume was actually only a leopard bathrobe, and the Posh Spice was some form of flouncy sequined quantity with sleeves? Give these Girls some credit score. Poppy’s Ginger was good, and that’s lucky, as a result of he had the wig on the entire time, however the reveals left me a little bit cold. Good factor he can dance.
Next up is Donna Bellissima, who tells us she’s upset that she’s the one contestant who nonetheless hasn’t gained a problem, thus sealing her destiny because the winner of this week’s episode. (It’s how Drag Race works.) He form of glazes over the truth that in 1999 he determined to depart conversion remedy, although it one way or the other performs into his selection of the Chicks’ “Sin Wagon.” Apparently the tune got here out across the time of the performer’s popping out and it made him wish to live his life? Regardless, Donna’s living her greatest life in a red leotard and mesh gown, and she or he two-steps all around the stage together with her cowboy hat–clad dancers. I like her tackle “Sin Wagon,” and so do the judges.
Chakra 7 desires to “come with a little bit of foolishness,” which apparently means portray herself blue like Juno Birch and carrying a Dee-Lite dress. She tackles “Doo Wop (That Thing)” and there’s a narrative line the place she’s some form of lunch girl? I didn’t actually get it, however there was a giant gold spoon she might use for a mic and a smock reveal. I feel when you’re going to go full lunch girl, you want a giant grey wig or a hairnet like Chris Farley in “Lunch Lady Land,” however that wouldn’t be as cute, I suppose, so no matter. Ru and the judges panel appear to suppose she was havin’ enjoyable up there, however I wasn’t, actually. I believed that Chakra delivered a well-acted, well-danced efficiency, and her precise lip-syncing was on level, however I’m undecided she’s a really humorous particular person. Is that merciless? I imply, she got here to fame on a really notable sitcom, however that might simply imply she’s nice at delivering traces and faces on cue. I haven’t seen proof but both onstage or within the backstage stuff that she’s a lot of a cutup, and I want I might.
Chic-Li-Fay goes full horny together with her “Arabian Nights” efficiency of “Genie in a Bottle.” (For the document, I discovered nothing “Arabian Nights” about it, save possibly the precise lamp.) She says she’s going to be doing the choreo in super-high heels, and I feel they flash to some spike Lucite things, however then when she truly comes out, she’s in some chunky black hoof jobbers. I believed they weighed the outfit down and I didn’t get the change, however they by no means defined it, so now I feel I’m loopy. The judges like Chic’s efficiency, similar to they like all performances this week, as a result of nobody goes residence.
Before we get to that, we’ve bought Thirsty Von Trap and her tackle Britney Spears’s “Crazy.” Ru didn’t get her story line final week with Katya, despite the fact that Thirsty thought they killed it. Because of that, she’s determined to put the story on thick this week, which she does with a certain and gagged dude, some blood-splattered aprons, and a meat tenderizer. She calls her “Crazy” “pop princess meets Sweeney Todd,” and whereas it’s completely wonderful, the judges need extra. They need her to be much less lovable and extra ridiculous, with Ru explaining she’s fallen right into a common lure that scorching younger numbers can get caught up in. “It’s difficult when you look this hot,” Ru says. “You want to play to that angle, but the fool is who we want to see.” Thirsty concedes “there’s always room to go bigger” and leaves the stage.
After a short recap, everybody reconvenes onstage and Ru tells Poppy, Chic, and Thirsty they’re safe. As for Donna and Chakra, Ru says, “This week you weren’t good … you were great.” Their frowns flip the other way up, and Ru tells them they’re going to lip sync for the win. They do Cher’s “Believe,” and it’s wonderful. Donna goes sultry and she or he is aware of each phrase, and Chakra is doing essentially the most. I desire Donna’s model of emoting on this case, most likely as a result of it’s more true to who Cher is, and Ru agrees, giving Donna her first win.
Just because it appears to be like like Ru’s about to wrap things up, she calls everybody back to the stage with a surprising twist: She says it’s gotten too onerous to evaluate their solo lip syncs, as a result of they’ve “reached a level of drag excellence.” That’s why she’s determined (?) that from this second on, there can be no extra secrets and techniques. She asks every queen to disclose herself, and that’s once we go to credit. Everyone appears to be like gooped and gagged, together with the Queen Supremes. I do not know why realizing who they’re would assist the judging panel critique their standard lip syncs any higher, however I’m not in opposition to simply getting all these rattling reveals out of the way in which now, particularly since anybody with Google and half a brain is aware of who all of them are behind all that make-up. Then once more, I wouldn’t put it previous the Drag Race workforce to have this be some underwhelming misdirect. I suppose we’ll simply have to attend and see the way it performs out subsequent week.
• It’s attention-grabbing the way in which the present airbrushes over (SPOILER ALERT!) AJ McLean’s tattoos. He’s bought fairly a couple of and you may by no means actually see them, so props to the make-up workforce. Killing it as all the time.
• Is Chakra 7 carrying Snag Tights? Regardless, I want they weren’t thigh-highs, as a result of I really feel like I might see non-blue skin up above them and it form of took me out of the phantasm.
• Juju says Chic-Li-Fay’s efficiency “smells like sex,” whereas Brooke Lynn says Juju “smells like poppers.”
• Three-fifths of this week’s songs got here from 1999, which is barely the ’90s. Just saying.