He treats me like a girlfriend but won’t commit

There may very well be a lot of the explanation why a man treats you like a girlfriend but received’t commit.

You’ve all the time wished to ask him, but his doable solutions scare you. But possibly you probably did, and his solutions have been imprecise, or he would attempt to dodge the question.

Since we will’t learn his thoughts, listed below are 15 doable the explanation why he treats you like a girlfriend but received’t commit.

1) He enjoys the liberty whereas maintaining you

Let’s be trustworthy right here, there are guys who benefit from the intimacy with a lady with out the strain of getting to commit to her.

The advantages of getting a girlfriend are fairly apparent: they get to have a nice time, really feel her body in opposition to theirs, uncover her sexual fantasies, and keep together with her when things are nice.

And when things get powerful? It’s no shock that they’ll simply keep away from the accountability of being there for her.

It could be simpler for him to discover his choices when he’s single, and don’t have to fret about getting harm or handled dangerous.

It’s like having the perfect of each worlds.

Truth be advised, he’s having extra enjoyable this fashion – he will get to expertise the thrill of being with you, and nonetheless will get all the advantages of not committing.

2) He doesn’t value you as a lot

He may need appreciated you adequate to date you, but the dedication means a deeper degree of affection and care.

It’s like shopping for a minivan as an alternative of a sports activities car. While he appreciates your company, he is probably not as keen on you as a lot as he must be with a actual partner. He could accept what he has which is sweet sufficient for now.

And the worst half is? You value him like a boyfriend, it’s simply not sufficient cause for him to commit to you and ask you to be his girlfriend.

No matter how a lot you present that you may be a nice girlfriend, he simply doesn’t see it the identical means.

After all, he has the liberty to look elsewhere.

3) He’s intimidated by the dedication

This man might be simply afraid of dedication, it’s easy and regular.

A previous expertise might have occurred which made him how he’s as we speak.

What’s extra is ladies who’re clingy or needy, or might idiot him – his heart’s in all probability not prepared for this sort of stress and headache.

Look into his relationship historical past, he might have been harm by a earlier girlfriend, or has been conscious that some guys cheat on their companions. In both case, he was traumatized by that have and doesn’t suppose he may give his belief to anyone.

He doesn’t need to make investments himself in a lady who might harm him because the final lady did. He’s defending himself by not committing. He goes to stay associates with advantages with you since he doesn’t suppose he can deal with the strain of being in a critical relationship.

In this case, you’ll be able to’t blame him; he doesn’t need to get harm once more.

It takes time and the suitable like to get his achieve his belief or get it back, but till then, it’s finest when you cease pressuring him to commit.

If you retain making an attempt to persuade him that you just’re the one for him, it should solely push him away.

4) You haven’t triggered his hero intuition

Numerous guys will fake to be good for you, so as to make you cheerful, but deep down inside they really feel insecure about themselves.

They will solely commit when you show to him that you just’re worthy of his treasured heart. He’s afraid that he received’t be capable of present for you and thinks that he’s not ok for you.

He is aware of that it’s going to take time earlier than he can absolutely belief you, so till then, he’ll play the position of being a friend (with advantages).

But you’ll be able to nonetheless do one thing about this.

There’s really a psychological time period for what I’m speaking about right here. It’s referred to as the ‘hero instinct’.

This idea is producing a lot of buzz in the meanwhile as a option to clarify what actually drives males in relationships.

I do know it would all appear form of foolish. In this point in time, ladies don’t want somebody to rescue them. They don’t want a ‘hero’ of their lives.

But this misses the purpose about what the hero intuition is all about.

The hero intuition is an instinctive want that males should step as much as the plate for the lady of their lives. This is deeply rooted in male biology.

When a man genuinely feels like your on a regular basis hero, he’ll change into extra loving, attentive, and dedicated to being in a long-term relationship with you.

But how do you set off this intuition in him?

The trick is to make him really feel like a hero in an genuine means. And there are things you’ll be able to say and messages you’ll be able to ship to set off this pure organic intuition.

If you need some assist doing this, take a look at James Bauer’s wonderful free video right here.

I don’t typically suggest movies or purchase into in style new ideas in psychology, but the hero intuition is likely one of the most fascinating ideas I’ve come throughout.

Here’s a link to his distinctive video once more.

5) He’s simply not invested but

This man hasn’t been on the lookout for a relationship, and has had no intentions of stepping into one.

Let’s be trustworthy right here, he’s extra centered on his career, or possibly he simply bought out of a relationship that ended badly. He isn’t prepared to maneuver on, and he is likely to be afraid of being harm once more.

He simply desires to have enjoyable with you but doesn’t need to commit as a result of deep down in his heart he is aware of that he’s not prepared but.

Do you suppose he’ll ever be prepared? Probably not, in the meanwhile.

Don’t pressure him, he wants extra time to determine himself out. Don’t nag him about dedication and belief that over time, he’ll come round.

Be affected person, and when you really feel he’s in a “pushing away” section, give him some space.

What’s worst? He doesn’t know what he desires.

This man is as clueless as you’re. Maybe he doesn’t even know what he desires, so he’s undecided about dedication.

You can attempt to open up and begin a regular healthy relationship with him, but in the meanwhile his heart will not be prepared for that form of dedication.

6) He’s advantageous simply staying as associates

Some guys don’t need to admit it but they’re OK with being associates with advantages.

He is aware of that you’re a nice catch but he doesn’t need to be tied down by dedication.

He doesn’t even think about you a girlfriend, and the very last thing he desires is to be tied down by all that baggage with you.

So till he desires to commit, it’s finest when you accept being his friend or “the girl that he dates”. The solely option to get him to commit is to remove all the advantages he will get from being associates with advantages.

For instance, let’s say you’ve sex with him. That will hold him near you and offer you each good recollections.

But when you don’t have sex with him, then he would possibly suppose that he can look elsewhere and nonetheless get what he desires (sure, the sex).

Ask your self when you’re prepared to remove the advantages he will get from you.

Don’t confuse “benefits” with “commitment”. You can have advantages from a man with out dedication.

This man simply desires to have enjoyable and doesn’t need to make investments himself in you or a relationship.

If you’ll be able to’t see your self going with the movement he’s setting, there’s no level in losing your time with him. He’s not going to vary and nothing will ever work out for the perfect for each events.

7) He’s simply not into you

Here’s the brutal fact: he can’t commit to you as a result of he simply doesn’t really feel the identical means.

He doesn’t like you, and he has no intention of ever liking you. He is simply on the lookout for a good time with you and never wanting in direction of a dedicated relationship.

You can select to conform to it or to depart him alone, but in both case, it’s essential to respect his choice to not get entangled with you.

Don’t attempt to persuade him in any other case.

He would possibly begin liking you over time, but he’s by no means going to commit till he desires to commit.

This will certainly harm when you’ve got actual emotions for him, but till he desires the identical emotions for you, it’s not going to work out.

You can’t pressure a man to commit, but there are things that you are able to do to make him need you extra.

8) It’s too early for him to commit

This man might be ready for the suitable second earlier than he commits.

He desires to be sure that he’s completely in love with you earlier than he makes a dedication.

And this can take a while and persistence in your half. He is aware of that he would possibly get harm if he makes the flawed choice and so he must just remember to’re the suitable one.

You should know that he’s ready for a sturdy emotional reference to you earlier than he initiates any form of dedicated relationship.

You want to present him a while to determine this out.

This is why it’s essential to date many various guys and allow them to go if it’s not figuring out, slightly than pressure them into one thing they aren’t prepared for.

9) He’s too good

At this stage, he’s in all probability simply too good to you.

He’ll provide help to out throughout the instances that it’s essential to but don’t suppose he could be prepared to commit sooner or later.

Do what occurs to a man who is simply too good? Eventually, he’ll find yourself in an sad relationship with a lady who merely makes use of him for his kindness.

I do know it sounds cliché, but good guys end final and the very last thing you need is to finish up in a toxic relationship.

He’s not able to commit to you as a result of he’s being dragged into your life by his heart.

Truth be advised, he doesn’t need to lose you since you’re too essential to him and he’s frightened of shedding you as a friend.

If you actually like him, you’ll be able to attempt to transfer on and find someone who will probably be extra involved in being with you.

10) He’s not an alpha male

Alpha males are dominant, powerful guys who’re very assured in themselves.

They’re often very engaging to ladies for that cause, you’ll be able to undergo any man’s album on Facebook and see what number of engaging ladies need a relationship with them.

But not all males are alpha males. Some guys could also be alpha relating to their work or their social teams but they’re clearly not alpha sufficient relating to relationships.

If he’s certainly, an alpha male, then he’ll be extra assured and dominant relating to having a relationship with you. He may not be as submissive and tender as a few of the different guys.

He’ll by no means allow you to stroll throughout him like a few of the different guys. He received’t allow you to push him away, but he’ll take cost and can attempt to get you to commit.

In most circumstances, an alpha male is extra prepared to commit than the opposite guys, as a result of they really feel assured that they’ll maintain up a relationship on their very own.

11) He doesn’t need to make a large deal out of a relationship

Dating will not be his factor, but he doesn’t thoughts being your friend so long as it’s casual.

This is the form of man who received’t push for dedication, as a result of he thinks it’s higher for him to not commit.

He’s simply not prepared for that form of dedication but. If you push him to commit, he’s not able to take that step but. He’s in all probability nonetheless frightened of dedication as a result of he spent too lengthy in a relationship the place his heart was damaged.

He might’ve been traumatised by the connection, so possibly he’s simply not ready for the commitment.

If things don’t work out ultimately then at the least you’ll have a good friendship with him and be capable of go on together with your life fortunately.

You received’t be disenchanted of getting wasted your time on somebody who doesn’t need to commit when solely friendship was what you wished from him within the first place.

12) He bought his heart damaged earlier than

You ought to concentrate on this already.

He might have had a actually painful expertise together with his final relationship and his heart is closed off for good now. He’s afraid of getting harm once more – that’s why he doesn’t need to make any greater dedication.

He desires to be in a relationship with you, but he must get his heart opened up first.

He can’t open up and belief one other individual if he’s frightened of shedding them. He must heal first earlier than he can actually commit himself absolutely to you.

If you push him into a relationship when he isn’t prepared for it, belief me on this, it should solely end in a catastrophe for each of you.

You’ll find yourself harm once you realise that your boyfriend doesn’t need to commit himself after which leaves with out telling you his cause or something. He’ll really feel that he’s allow you to down.

These are all of the the explanation why a man received’t commit to you and that’s why it’s higher for you to not strain him an excessive amount of about making a dedication.

You can see the place he stands and if he’s going to be prepared for a critical relationship sooner or later. Don’t let your attraction overwhelm your common sense.

13) He has a secret and is ashamed of it

It’s not simply the man who doesn’t need to commit. Sometimes, ladies have secrets and techniques they usually’re not proud sufficient to let you know about it.

This may very well be one thing like he cheated on some woman prior to now or one thing even worse.

If that there’s one thing flawed with him that he’s ashamed of, it is likely to be finest when you simply don’t ask him additional about it as a result of he might stroll away from you as soon as you’ll know the reality.

He’ll all the time be bothered by it, and surprise if he’s accomplished the suitable factor.

On the opposite hand, it should all the time eat away at him even when he covers it up very effectively on the surface.

It is finest to not ask him about his secret as a result of he might pull out of your relationship and run off to a new woman who isn’t bothered by this secret factor.

Let him be and he’ll come spherical till he’s prepared to speak in confidence to you extra.

14) He’s afraid of being harm

Sometimes, guys are so frightened of getting harm that they don’t need to make any commitments in any respect.

This may very well be as a result of they’ve simply been by a dangerous expertise and ended up broken-hearted.

Girls want to know that they’ll by no means know what is going to occur sooner or later so that they shouldn’t anticipate their boyfriend to be dedicated sooner or later.

He may not need a dedication with you, as a result of he thinks you’re the one woman who will break him.

His low shallowness may additionally be due to a earlier dangerous expertise with a woman. It might have been about him not being shut sufficient to her though he tried to be. It is likely to be about him not being prepared to present himself utterly to a different individual.

Of course, it’s doable that his worry of dedication is a part of some deep-rooted psychological points that stretch back into his childhood.

15) He’s afraid of shedding you

This man is in it for the long term but he fears that if he begins one thing, you would possibly go away him sooner or later and break his heart.

Sometimes, guys will do something to keep away from that form of pain. They take this method so that they received’t really feel pain anymore, or they have been in such nice pain as soon as earlier than and feels safer in the event that they don’t get too near you.

You see, if things have been very effectively between the 2 of you though you’re not his girlfriend, he is likely to be pondering that it is going to be ruined when you change into his girlfriend. As he’s frightened of shedding you as a friend, he’ll do something to keep away from what would possibly make you break off from him.

He may not need you to present him an excessive amount of consideration and that’s why he doesn’t want to commit in any respect. He simply wants space to work things out and it’s finest for you to not hassle him about this.

How to make a man commit to you

Even although he isn’t within the temper for a relationship now, there are methods to make him commit to you sooner or later (if, you need him to commit to you). It’s simply that it’s essential to take a extra gradual method.

Don’t nag about it.

It’s not an in a single day factor and also you’ll should work on it over a period of time, listed below are some methods:

1) Don’t be all the time accessible for him

Ask your self if you’re always available to him.

You must be joyful to see him but don’t bathe him with all of your consideration, avoid wasting for your self or different essential things in your life.

If you’re up for this problem, needless to say it’s important to give him the chilly shoulder.

First, cease texting him with flirty messages and making an attempt to arrange plans.

Don’t provoke contact and don’t be accessible for dates or for sex. If he desires to see you and desires your consideration, he’ll should chase YOU as an alternative of the opposite means round.

Just cease being accessible on his phrases.

2) Show him that he’s the form of man who can commit

It’s not simply you who could make him commit. It’s additionally the way in which he offers together with his associates, household and work.

He should know that there may very well be a lot of fantastic things that can occur when a man decides to commit to a lady.

This relates back to what I discussed earlier: the hero intuition.

When a man is made to really feel wanted, wished, and revered, he’s extra prone to overcome all of his dedication points and be the one for you.

And it’s so simple as understanding the suitable things to say to set off his hero intuition and make him into the person he’s all the time wished to be.

All of that and extra is revealed on this wonderful free video by James Bauer. It’s completely price testing when you’re able to take things to the subsequent degree together with your man.

Here’s a link to the free video once more.

3) Give him correct time and space

It’s troublesome to say that you could rate a man’s dedication by his phrases and actions.

If he’s dedicated to you, he’ll be there within the dangerous instances in addition to the nice. He would have been very critical about you and made positive that every part about your relationship is ideal.

No matter what the reason being for why he doesn’t need to make a dedication, bear in mind that you could simply cope with it from right here on in.

Give him the space and time he must suppose things by by himself.

Don’t convey up the dedication concept as it would simply make him go additional away from you.

Letting him know that he’s the one and solely man for you’ll make him too overwhelmed.

He doesn’t realise it proper now, but he wants space to completely perceive your relationship with one another and whether or not or not that is going to work out sooner or later.

4) Make it extraordinarily straightforward for him to commit to you

A person will certainly commit to you if he feels you might be the lady of his desires. He desires a lady who’s caring and generous, affected person and loving. He additionally desires to be sure that she’ll be there for him even when he’s a little bit of a moody individual.

He longs for somebody who will assist him in every part that he does.

He doesn’t solely lengthy for an easy-going relationship, but for a lady who might be the precise reverse of him. You see, a man is totally totally different from what he appears to be on the surface.

Eventually, he’ll be capable of commit to you, even when he’s not prepared now.

5) Be one of many nice things in his life

And lastly, crucial factor of all:

Never attempt to get him dedicated by taking his good things away from him.

You know what I imply: the nice things are a few of the most beneficial items for a man and though he may not need these things proper now, it’s essential to let him know that you could give them to him and make him happier.

A person will commit to you mechanically after a whereas if he feels you’re the neatest thing that has ever occurred to him.

He won’t ever know what he had been lacking out on and there could be no want for him to search for another lady who’s prepared to present in to his calls for.


You ought to know already that having to make a man commit to you, isn’t an in a single day course of – it should positively take a while getting him to the purpose the place he could be prepared to commit.

However, it is going to be well worth the effort in the long term.

The proper lady could make every part higher in his life, and there’s no means you are able to do this if he doesn’t see that.

So what are you able to do to ease up the method?

Well, I discussed the distinctive idea of the hero intuition earlier. It’s revolutionized the way in which I perceive how males work in relationships.

You see, once you set off a man’s hero intuition, all these emotional partitions come down. He feels higher in himself and he’ll naturally start to associate these good emotions with you.

And it’s all all the way down to understanding the right way to set off these innate drivers that inspire males to like, commit, and defend.

So when you’re able to take your relationship to that degree, be sure you take a look at James Bauer’s unbelievable recommendation.

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